The Hormone Guide

Women will understand this... 
Men should  memorize it!

Every woman knows that there are days when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his hands! 

This is a handy guide that should be carried like a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant other!

DANGEROUS	SAFER	SAFEST	ULTRA  SAFE
What's for  dinner?	Can I help you with dinner?	Where would you like  to go for dinner?	Here, have some wine.
Are you  wearing that?	You sure  look good in brown!	WOW! Look at you!	Here, have some wine
What are you  so worked up about?	Could we be  overreacting?	Here's my paycheck.	Here, have some wine.
Should you be  eating that?	You know, there are  a lot of apples left.	Can I get you a piece  of chocolate with that?	Here, have some wine.
What did you  DO all day?	I hope you didn't  over-do it today.	I've always loved you  in that robe!	Here, have some wine.

 

12 Things PMS Stands For

1.  Pass My Shotgun 

2.  Psychotic Mood Shift 

3.  Perpetual Munching  Spree  

4.  Puffy Mid-Section 

5.  Provide  Me Sweets 

6.  Pardon My Sobbing 

7.  Pimples May Surface 

8.  Pass My Sweatpants

9.  Pack My Stuff   

and   

10.   Potential  Murder Suspect  

Now after reading these and laughing so hard.....

 

Go and have some wine.