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January 15, 2010

Keeping A Healthy Level of 'Insanity'

  1.  At lunchtime, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.
  2.  Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
  3.  Insist that your e-mail address is: or
  4.  Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
  5.  Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronized chair dancing.
  6.  Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN" or "INBOX"
  7.  Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
  8.  Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
  9.  In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for improper favors.'
10.  Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."
11.  Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."
12.  Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness level lights up the entire work area. Insist to others that you like it that way.
13.  Don't use any punctuation
14.  As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
15.  Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
16.  Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17.  Sing along at the opera.
18.  Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
19.  Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is of the opposite gender.)
20.  Send email to the rest of the company to tell them what you're doing. For example, "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom, in Stall #3."
21.  Put mosquito netting around your cubicle. Play a tape of jungle sounds all day.
22.  Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.
23.  Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies.
24.  Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.
25.  Have your own coworkers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26.  When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!", "I Won!", "3rd time this week!!!"
27.  When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28.  Tell your boos "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the voices in your head that do."
29.  Tell your children over dinner, "Due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
30.  Every time you see a broom, yell "Honey, your mother is here!"

Here is my experience in the level of insanity, we really did these jokes.  It was soo funny.  We did 2 things in our workplace when I did work in an office.

1.  When our coworker left early, we wrapped his cubicle in some kind of plastic wrap we had in the warehouse and filled his cubicle up with the foam snow, he was not a happy camper the next morning.  Our boss was in on it too...gotta love our boss, he was the BEST.  After this joke, the coworker wanted to get the boss back so read the #2.

2.  We played a joke on our boss.  Everyone in the office left a voicemail telling him we were sick and not coming in.  We all did this one morning and we all parked our cars around the back of the building and waited on him to come in.  Our meeting room was right next to his office so you can hear everything from his office in the meeting room.  We all were in this meeting room while he was checking his voicemail and he was very angry that everyone called in sick.  We let him think this for about 10 minutes.  He said that was the best joke anyone has ever played on him.

ps. This all took place where I worked which was Printronix in Memphis, TN which is about 5 minutes from my town of Southaven, the facility has since closed.  Our corporate office was in Irvine, CA and they decided to close us down and move everything there.  I was planning on quitting and my boss knew it and told me to stay on until they laid me off so I could get my severance pay.  This was back in June 2004.


  1. OMG those are hilarious!!!! I thought it was going to be all serious and stuff and I about fell out of my chair on the first one!! lol So funny!!

  2. to dang funny Heather~ there are some I may try.... the drive through order to go.. the economy comment to one of my kids.. home mean, but funny. The do you want fries with that.. I will pull that on my hubs when he asks for something. Love the work stories too! Jenn

  3. Thanks for the laugh Heather--those are so funny!!
    Have a great day :)

  4. Hysterical--thanks for the laugh this afternoon!

  5. I enjoyed reading that. Thank you. :)